Write About What Scares You

What scares me:

freakout

Wow this list could go on and on. One thing that scare me is being alone forever. It sounds quite dramatic when typing it out but it couldn’t be more true. In comparison the idea of compromise makes me nauseous. I am a perfectionist who has thus become scared of anything less than what t.v. and the media has taught me. Ironically I still have hope that at some point in my life things will be “perfect” even if it’s just for a day. With absolutely no bumps or aching wants.

The problem with this blistering hope is I expect these things to happen to me without changing anything in my current day-to-day. At the rate I’m going I’ll be sad, single and underwhelmed forever. I also built myself a box to get out of by reducing my self-esteem with pesky thoughts of how inexperienced I am. I also judge people a lot. It’s unfair to do so because then I judge myself just as hard and thus have no self-esteem or confidence.

I thought writing this was supposed to be euphoric but hey things don’t always happen the way you imagine they will.

To end this post on a positive note here is a happy gif of how I will be spending my snowed-in weekend before heading back to school: Celebrate!

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